When i open my eyes every morning
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you…. Why should only i suffer!!!

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

When I was born Devil said..
When I was born Devil said…Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said …Oh Shit!!!!Competition…!!! ….

Fill in the blank…Im ur …..friend-
Fill in the blank…Im ur …..friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must…

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally……Thats why boys go to college regularly….

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank
Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No… 1.—–I dont have brain… 2.—–I dont have sence… 3.—–I am stupid….

If ur world is spining Round & Round.
If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round….Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE? na Munna na its called high B/P…

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year,
Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don’t annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

what happend 2 ur mobile?
what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

First the engagement ring, then
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

Last night I lay in my bed
Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that cows can’t fly!

If your a Vegetarian to be nice
If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

I’m a killer, i kill people for money
I’m a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

Its been a rough day.I got up this
Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I’m afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

Jesus says to John come forth ill
Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

At dis moment in time 10 million people
At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful
The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window… I look down & den… i lauf again

An independant study has proven
An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

I’m @ the police station
I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

girls are like phones.
girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected! TUM KO DEKHA TO YE KHAYAL AYA
TUM KO DEKHA TO YE KHAYAL AYA
PAGALON KAY STOCK MAIN NAYA MAAL AYA

bush nain osama ko pakarnay kay liyay 500 kutay manway hain 499 aa gay hain 1 rah gya hay sms partay hi niklo

God made man and then rested
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

MEN-opause MEN-strual
MEN-opause MEN-strual pain MEN-tal illness GUY-necologist HIS-terectomy EVER NOTICED HOW WOMENS PROBLEMS START WITH MEN??

This cat is cat a cat good cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYIN CAT!

I send dis fish as a sign of friendship
><(((:>I send dis fish as a sign of friendship Plz take care of it & keep it in mobile & daily put ur mobile in water so tat fish wont DIE:-)

One day Raja and rani decided to send
One day Raja and rani decided to send messages to each other by using Pigeon instead of mobile. The very next day pigeon reached raja without any message. He angried and called to rani.She told stupid “This was a missed call”

can you lend me 2000 Rs?
can you lend me 2000 Rs? i need it. please help me out, i know you have it, i wil return it .a sardar asks to ATM machine???????

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers
terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers… and demanded aransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene… plz donate. i have donated 15 litres.

Dear user,your wife can become
Dear user,your wife can become mother without your struggle!Just SMS ‘CHILD’ or call customer care at 9890****** & be a tension-free DAD!

A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)
A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son,but they dont know proper word to print,so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS:

Husband seting near to his
Husband sitting near to his wife n she was driving,Husband:please slow down the speed of car.Wife:No ;please. No; please NopleaseNopls..Husband:the Newspaper ill publish ur correct Age 55 in case of axident; Ohh KHkhkhkhkhkh…

Why do couples hold hands
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?…. It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !

girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, whenever u want to cry check out box, and whenever u want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy.

1980 GIRL
Mama can I wear jeans.
Mama no beta log kia kahng ge.

2006 GIRL
Mama can I wear miny skirts
Mama pahen meri bachi pahen kuch to pahen.

why the groom is made to sit on the horse on marriage ceremoney? He is given his last chance to run away.

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